Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Good Old Teddy Roosevelt. Not only was he the inspiration for the beloved Teddy bear, he was also a prolific writer, history buff, poetry aficionado, and fellow asthma sufferer (oh, and an American President).

He is also cited as the source of the above quote, which is the actual focus of this post.

If you haven’t already heard, my second picture book, A Good Day for Ducks, is coming out this September. I’m quite chuffed, to be honest. I’ve always dreamed of being an author, and now I’ll actually be able to have two of my very own books on my library’s shelves. It’s quite an achievement, and I’m thrilled.

And yet….

Nagging voices of self-doubt linger about in the back of my mind, shaking their heads disdainfully, and murmuring insistently:

it’s not enough

A writer acquaintance of mine also has a book coming out this year. Their stunning debut is already swimming in advance accolades, with glowing 5-star reviews and effusive recommendations aplenty.

The little voices in the back of my mind capitalize on news like this, and take every opportunity to remind me that my writing isn’t nearly as skillful as this person’s, that I’m not nearly as talented as they are, that I won’t be nearly as successful as they are.

Look at what this person has accomplished! What have you done lately? What have you achieved?

When will you start winning awards? When will you go on tours? When will you write a best-seller?

Thanks to those voices of self-doubt, the dear little books that have brought me so much joy start to seem a little less impressive, and my accomplishments become a bit less satisfying. By comparing myself and my books to others, as Teddy warned, those nagging voices of doubt try to rob me of my joy.

The sense of pride I feel over my work shouldn’t have anything to do with its reception by others. Wild One and A Good Day for Ducks represent a monumental personal achievement. The fact that I was able to convince myself to even submit a manuscript in the first place is a significant accomplishment, representing a triumph over years of crippling self-doubt.

And in reality, I’m very happy with my little books. They won’t be up for any of the big literary awards, but they were never designed to be. They were written from the heart to be shared with families at story times, and to make caregivers and their little ones smile.

Friends, if you’re anything like me, you’ve likely had those little nagging voices of self-doubt try to rob you of your hard-earned and well-deserved joy, too. I wish I could tell you that I’ve found some secret remedy for self-doubt, a magical mantra that will silence those internal critics.

But I can’t.

All I can say is that I understand, because I hear them too. I doubt myself and my work, my abilities and my talents. I often beat myself up inside for not achieving enough, not accomplishing enough, not being enough.

Then I do my best to carry on.

I carry on writing, editing, submitting. I read the inevitable rejection letters, shed a tear or two, and do my best to just carry on.

I guess that’s the only piece of advice I can really give. Worry less about silencing the voices of doubt, and focus more on muscling through them. Worriers like you and I will always compare ourselves to others and find ourselves wanting. It’s just the way we are.

But it doesn’t mean we can’t carry on all the same.

Comparison is the thief of joy, but it doesn’t have to get away with it. Joy isn’t a finite thing, and no matter how many times the self-doubting voices try to take it away, you always find it again, eventually. It isn’t always easy, but take it from me, it can be done.

And gradually, with time, those nagging doubts can be subdued, if not entirely wiped out. Ask any creative (or anyone else, for that matter), and I’m sure the majority of them will admit to some feelings of self-doubt (if they’re being honest) from time to time. It can happen to the best of us (and the rest of us), but it doesn’t have to keep us from creating.

I’ve written a few posts on self-care, and you can read some of my thoughts on dealing with stress and disappointment. Like most of us I’ve experienced my fair share of both, and have learned a few things along the way that have helped me learn to live with my resident self-critics.

So listen to your old Uncle Teddy, and your Auntie Jane, and do your best to just carry on carrying on, self-doubt and all.

Because you’re awesome, no matter what anyone says – even you.

Image Source: QuoteFancy